One of my major regrets in life (I am turning 30 soon) is that I have worked to maintain relationships that should have been allowed to die.
The main example of this is my former school friends. Each of us went our seperate ways as all school friends do, but I conspicuoulsy maintained contact with all of my my friend group and went out of my way to visit them, even while this act was never reciprocated. As each of us developed individually, it became apparent that our personalities were no longer compatible. Yet I continued to pursue these relationships, supressing my own individual expression.
Many times over in life I would be disrespected and denigrated, either explicitly or implicitly by people who I was working hard to maintain friendships with. My own aims and life were systematically limited by obligations to people who simply did not deserve that level of devotion.
I have spent my life fostering relationships with people who don’t share the same respect for me as I had for them. But more! I am simply going to remember that none of these people deserve the levels of devotion I have shown. I am going to move on and pursue my own life and goals.
Much time has passed. But for anyone else who may read this, don’t waste your time in situations where deep down you know you shouldn’t be there. The consequences can be utterly catastrophic to everything that you love.
